


After the storm

by Vallie_42



Category: As the World Turns
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-28
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2017-11-19 18:36:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/576406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vallie_42/pseuds/Vallie_42
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An accident whilst on a business trip to Seattle lands Luke in hospital and into a coma. When he wakes up four weeks later he realizes that the world as he knows it has drastically changed and he has no idea what´s left of his family back in Oakdale. After nearly gotten eaten by something that should only exist in horror movies he meets Doctors Reid Oliver and Joanne Mills, neurosurgeons on their way to Chicago where they’ve heard the military has set up a base camp with an advanced lab to create a vaccine. Grateful that they´re on the way to a city close to his home Luke joins them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After the storm

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2012 lurebigbang. Originally posted here: http://vallie82.livejournal.com/7000.html with gorgeous art! Thanks to Traci and Bhumi for making this happen, I know it´s a lot of work for you guys, and you don´t get nearly enough credit.
> 
> While writing this I´ve been thinking a lot about my sister, not because she was particularly fond of zombies but because the first story I ever wrote was about her. It was called `My sister is a witch´ and was actually a great compliment since I thought being a witch was the coolest thing ever when I was nine. Obviously she didn´t see it that way and teased me mercilessly. I can only imagine how amusing she would have thought it was to know that 21 years later I haven´t gotten any further in my writing than to zombies.
> 
> And last but not least: Bhumi who not only made the incredible art, which btw is the best thing ever, but also had the ungrateful job as my beta and had to do a lot of last minute editing, because apparently I´m unable to finish things in decent time. Bhumi – I love you and you are the best thing ever and there´s no way I´ll ever be able to thank you enough. <3 Let´s never do this again. :)

Luke is so tired he hardly makes it out of the bed when the alarm goes off at 6am. Over the past three weeks, he´s been travelling from one Grimaldi office to another, and right now, he isn´t even sure which town he´s in.

He thinks it´s Seattle, but for all he knows it could just as well be San Francisco or Los Angeles. The only thing he does know is that he´s getting damn tired of hotel rooms by now and he would do anything to be home, in his own bed, and to be able to stay there for a whole day. He rubs at his eyes and forces his body to roll out of the bed and stumbles into the bathroom.

He heads for the shower when he sees the post-it note stuck to the bathroom mirror, which says “GO RUN!” in his own messy handwriting. He groans and contemplates ignoring it, but he recalls his phone call to Casey the week before and how his friend had said that if Luke ever were to get a boyfriend he needed to stay in shape, and Luke hadn´t done any training at all in the last few weeks. Not that he needs it either, his body is in fairly good shape, but Casey had insisted that after you turn twenty five, everything you eat goes straight to your hips, and apparently nobody likes love handles.

Sometimes Luke thinks Casey is gayer then he is.

But he turns around and walks back in the room, pulls on a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants and heads for the door, cursing Casey the whole time.

It´s chilly outside and Luke shivers when the cool March breeze hits him, but at least it isn´t raining, which is something to be grateful for. He checks the name of the hotel when he´s outside, so he´ll know where to come back in case he gets lost. It wouldn´t be the first time it had happened, he´s ashamed to admit, but he recognizes the hotel and the surroundings outside and is pleased to see he was right, he is indeed in Seattle. He turns around and heads east, thankful that it´s still early enough for the streets to be somewhat empty.

Luke isn´t particularly fond of running and only does it when there´s no other option, like when he´s on business trips, but it´s surprisingly easy to get into the rhythm of it. He´s a few blocks down when he realizes that not only did he forget his iPod, which is bad enough, he also forgot his room key. Thankfully, he´s stayed here so many times by now that most of the hotel staff recognize him.

He´s so caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn’t see the car approaching when he crosses the street. When he does see it, it´s already too late, and almost as in slow motion he hears the screaming brakes and sees the terrified face of the man behind the wheels. His last thoughts before getting hit is, is that he´s already done this once, and then there´s pain everywhere before his whole world goes black.

***

The first thing he registers is the smell.

Luke has spent enough time in hospitals to recognize the distinct hospital smell, something between antiseptic and disinfectant which smells like plain alcohol. He hated it as a child and no matter how many flowers or air fresheners his mother had put in his hospital room back then, it could never completely erase the smell. When he got older and had a kidney infection that nearly killed him he found another reason for disliking the smell. Turns out he still hates it, even though it’s been over five years since the last time he was in a hospital. There´s machines beeping and he feels a hand on his arm and a voice he doesn’t recognize is talking to him but for some reason he can´t decipher the words. He tries to open his eyes or move his arms but his body doesn´t respond at all and he wonders what he´s gotten himself into this time. For a fleeting second, he fears he´s been drinking again but then he remembers the car that hit him and his last thought before everything goes dark again is that he really hopes he isn´t dying because his mother would never forgive him if he did.

He isn´t sure if he´s dreaming or if he´s moving in and out of consciousness but sometimes he thinks there are people around him, talking with soft voices and there´s always the sounds and the smell to let him know where he is. One time he thinks he hears screaming and shouting, which is something that most definitely doesn´t belong in a hospital, but then he drifts off again.

***

The second time he wakes up, his thoughts are clearer. He´s not sure that he´s still in a hospital though, because while the room still smells faintly of disinfectant, there´s another smell that’s emerged that reminds Luke more of urinals than anything else. He tries to open his eyes and while his eyelids are heavier than usual and his vision´s cloudy at least he´s able to see.

He´s clearly in a hospital room.

He raises his hands to rub at eyes and is relieved when his muscles obey him. Another sign that something isn´t right is the silence. He eyes the machines beside him and sees that they´re turned off, which is weird since he´s connected to god knows how many of them. He still has a needle in his hand but the IV bag is empty and when he manages to sit up he sees that his drainage bag for the catheter is broken and there´s urine all over the floor. He frowns and feels slightly embarrassed, but at least that explains the smell.

He pushes the call button to his right, but it doesn´t make a sound nor does it light up as it should. He removes the needle in his hand and is surprised to see how much it´s bleeding. He quickly presses the sheet against it and searches for something to wrap around it. There´s a bandage on the bedside table and he clumsily wraps it around his hand to stop the bleeding.

Then he takes a deep breath and pulls out the catheter while wincing slightly at the uncomfortable pain. He slowly stands up, careful not to step in any of his own pee, because gross. It takes almost a whole minute of steady breathing until the dizziness goes away and he can let go of his shaky grip on the bed frame and walk over to the wardrobe. It´s not very surprising that the only thing in there is his running shoes and hospital clothes, considering he´s been hit by a car, his own clothes must be ruined. So, he puts on the ugly green pants but decides to skip the robe he´s wearing for a long-sleeved shirt.

The pants are almost too loose and he realizes he´s lost some weight which makes him wonder how long he´s been out. But more than anything, he’s wondering where the hell all the doctors and nurses are? Finally dressed, he walks over to the door, pushes it open and walks out of the room and what greets him is a complete mess. 

There´s wheelchairs and food trays and abandoned beds spread out all over the corridor of his room, and if Luke didn´t already have a feeling that something was wrong he would now. Because, in his experience, no matter how busy hospitals were, they wouldn´t look like this. And where are all the people? He moves rapidly towards the exit sign, because this scares him more than he likes to admit and he thinks that if he just can make it down to the reception, they can explain to him what´s happening.

Sadly, Luke soon discovers that he´s on the third floor and since the electricity doesn´t seem to work he has to take the stairs. There´s fifty-six steps to get to the first level and when he´s finally at the bottom, he´s so exhausted that he has to sit down and rest. He has no idea how many days he´s been out but since there´s no obvious bruising on his body, he fears it´s longer then he´d like. He should have checked his journal, but there´s no way he´s climbing all those stairs again. He can´t help but wonder why he´s family isn´t here. He didn´t give them his complete schedule when he left but surely the Grimaldi office would have called to let them know he hadn´t showed up where he should have. Or was the Seattle office one of those he was going to give a surprise visit to? That could’ve meant errors in communication.

Luke can´t remember and it shouldn´t really matter, at least the hospital should have contacted his family when he came in. Unless of course, the hospital didn´t know who he was, seeing as Luke distinctly remembers having no personal information at all on him when he went out for a run. Not even his hotel key.

Luke groans and shakily stands up; his mother must be worried sick by now and Luke has to call her immediately. He walks out to the reception and is both surprised and not surprised to find it empty. The mess is even worse here, there´s papers all over the floor, covered in something brown that looks like dried blood, but that can´t be the case, can it? He walks towards the reception desk and when he´s there he lifts the phone intent on calling his mother but the phone line seems to be dead, no dial tone heard. He finally gives up and decides to leave the hospital sure that he needed to know exactly what is going on.

But first, he´s going to destroy the soda machine next to the reception desk and bring as many sodas he can carry with him, because now that he sees it, he´s so thirsty he has no idea how he managed to function this long without something to drink. He doesn´t likestealing nor destroying hospital property, but when he´s back home he´ll pay them back and make a hefty donation.

After he´s downed two sodas and found a bag to put five others in, he heads for the exit but gets sidetracked by a newspaper lying on the floor. It´s ‘The Times’ and he only picks it up to check the date but the headline stops him.

**THE END IS HERE?** is printed in large, bold letters and Luke sits down on the floor to read it. He isn´t sure what he´s reading though, because this feels more like a terrifying joke than reality. According to the article, all the larger cities in the country have been infected with a weird virus that makes dead people alive again. There´s a blurry photo of what Luke thinks is a man kissing a woman’s neck and another of the same man walking straight forward with his arms raised but Luke has no idea what that´s supposed to show. He can´t help but wonder if he somehow got hold of a fake newspaper, but he puts it in his bag with the sodas and walks out of the hospital.

When he gets outside, fear creeps up his spine and he realizes that the newspaper wasn´t lying. He´s been to Seattle many times before but never did it look like this. There are more papers spread out on the ground and abandoned cars on the roads, some of them with their doors still open. What used to be a quite busy street is now an empty one, no people, no life. He forces out a raspy “Hello?” in his clearly unused voice a few times but no one answers. There´s nothing, not even a bird or a stray dog and Luke needs to take a few deep breaths to steer the panic away. He pinches his arm hard, but no, he´s not dreaming, this is really happening. He looks around, trying to decide where to go when he sees the church right across the road and almost sighs with relief. 

Churches have always been considered to be a refuge of sorts and he hopes he´ll find someone in there who can help him. Or at least someone who is alive.

Luke´s never been good at being alone and the thought of being the only person alive in Seattle is too terrifying to imagine. The second he opens the door to the church it’s the smell that hits him. It´s excruciating sickly and even though he immediately knows what he´s going to find inside, he still needs to see it to believe it, he can’t help himself. He takes a few deep breaths and tries to cover his nose and mouth with his shirt sleeve before entering. It´s dark inside and it takes a while before his eyes adjust, but when they do he can´t help but wish he would have walked away instead, because the sight that greets him is like something that’s sprung up out of a horror movie.

The floor is covered in blood and something else he suspects, but doesn´t really want to think that they are rotting human body parts. He briefly wonders what kind of virus could have done something like this; it looks more like a massacre than anything else, and that´s when he sees them. The first three rows on the right side is full of people, there has to be at least thirty people lying or sitting on the benches and even though he logically knows they have to be dead, his mouth opens anyway.

“Hello?” His voice is muffled and barely more than a whisper in the quiet church so he reluctantly removes his arm and tries again. “Hello? Is there anyone alive?”

He feels somewhat ridiculous since he doesn´t really expect an answer so when he sees a few people moving he takes a quick step back. Everything inside of him screams that this is wrong, it´s not possible that these people are actually alive and well and he should turn around and run, but then one of them stands up and Luke can’t help but freeze on the spot.

Luke doesn´t know many people in Seattle and he´s never been much of a church goer but whenever Damian insisted in joining him on his trips here, he´d always wanted Luke to attend at least one service with him. Luke always found it quite hypocritical, as if going to church would somehow make Damian´s somewhat questionable business methods more acceptable, but he had spent enough time in church to know the priest’s names and this is without doubt Father Stevens, Damian´s favorite preacher.

“Father?” He asks with a shaky voice that he almost doesn´t recognize as his own. 

The priest makes an awful sound, something between a growl and a shout and it doesn’t sound human at all, before he starts moving towards Luke. His gait is jerky and reminds Luke of something out of the numerous zombie-movies Casey forced him to watch when they were younger.

To be honest, Luke had never really enjoyed them so when his mom forbid him to watch them, probably because she´d grown tired of him waking up screaming from nightmares every night, he had felt relieved more than anything else. Casey had been disappointed though, and when Luke came out a few years later, Casey had teased him mercilessly and blamed Luke´s ‘gayness’ for his delicate senses.

The closer Father Stevens gets, the more Luke wishes this was one of those nightmares and for a fleeting second he contemplates closing his eyes and scream in the hopes of waking up safe in his own bed, but he´s too terrified to actually do it. When the priest is only a few feet away from him Luke gets a clearer look at his face.

His mouth is bloody and his jaw keeps moving like he´s chewing on something, and there is a thought Luke quickly pushes away, but the most terrifying thing is his eyes. They´re completely bloodshot, and not in the really bad hangover way either, it actually looks like they´re bleeding while his pupils are more white then black. It´s the most horrendous thing Luke has ever seen and when the priest reaches out to grab a hold of him, Luke finally springs to action and swings the bag that is full of soda cans, at his head.

Apparently, lying in a coma for God knows how long seriously weakens your muscles, so while Luke actually succeeds in hitting the priest, the only thing it accomplishes is another one of those awful growls, so there´s nothing left for Luke to do than turn around and run as fast as he can.

He runs aimlessly and tries to think of a place where he can hide safely, but comes up with nothing. A quick glance over his shoulder confirms his suspicion that he´s being followed. There´s at least eight people behind him, with Father Stevens firmly in the lead, and to Luke´s horror they are pretty damn fast. The zombies in the movies were always ridiculously slow and when he wasn´t busy trying to discreetly hide under a blanket, he had found it somewhat amusing that no one ever managed to outrun them.

Now though, with his heart beating way too fast and the sudden trouble with his breathing, he realizes that if he doesn´t find shelter soon he´s not going to make it. His body is too weak, and they´re way too fast. He runs past a gas station, where all the windows are smashed and scans the buildings around him.

“Over here!” someone shouts and Luke makes a sharp turn to the left and runs towards the voice. Two people are standing in front of what used to be a video store, and he thinks it´s a man and a woman, but since they´re dressed in what looks like SWAT-uniforms, he can´t be certain. One of them, the one he thinks is a female, is holding the gate open while the other one stands ready with what looks like a homemade Molotov-cocktail. When Luke reaches them, the first one takes his arm and pushes him inside while the other one throws the flask at the zombies, before following them inside and securing the gate. There´s a big explosion that throws Luke to the ground and makes his ears ring and he guesses the man must have set the gas station on fire.

“What the hell was that?” He asks when he manages to catch his breath. “And who are you?”

The man, because he was right about that, snorts and removes his helmet, revealing short and curly auburn hair. He´s definitely a few years older than Luke, probably in his mid-thirties, and according to the shallow part of Luke´s brain that doesn´t seem to care all that much about his recent near death experience, really good looking.

“That,” the man says as he turns his gaze directly on Luke, “was me saving you from being dinner.”

 

Luke is still trying to catch his breath and make sense of what´s going on, when the woman slaps the other man’s arm and kneels beside Luke. She is tall for a woman, with long, dark, curly hair cascading over her shoulder and piercing green eyes. Luke would have guessed she´d be in her mid-thirties, but close up he sees the laugh lines around her eyes and adds another five years to her age.

“I´m Joanne Mills and this charming man is Reid Oliver,” she says. Her voice is calm and soothing as if she´s afraid to scare him.

“Doctor Reid Oliver,” the other man interrupts and Joanne rolls her eyes but Luke can see she´s holding back a smile. 

“Okay, this is Doctor Reid Oliver and I´m Doctor Joanne Mills.” She holds out her hand and Luke reflexively shakes it. “We came here last night. Who are you and where have you been hiding out? You´re the first live person we´ve come across in almost a week.”

“I-,” Luke begins, feeling his throat tighten and tears prickling the corners of his eyes. He takes a deep breath and manages to hold it back. “I´m Luke...Luke Snyder and I´m from Oakdale. I was here on a business trip when I got hit by a car and I guess I was in a coma or something. I just woke up today and I have no idea how long I´ve been out or what´s going on.”

He realizes he sounds a bit panicked but Joanne gives him an understanding smile and puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Wow, a lot have changed this past few weeks, I don´t even know where to begin.” Joanne looks at Reid who simply shrugs and picks up one of the two large hiking bags and starts rummaging around in it.

“Those things,” Luke begins, “that were chasing me. What the hell were they?”

“Zombies,” Reid answers shortly and somehow he manages to sound insulting at the same time, as if Luke should know what´s going and is an idiot for asking.

“Yeah, I kinda figured that out all by myself,” he says. “But, where did they come from? I may have been in a coma for the past few weeks but before that I´d never heard of dead people coming back from the grave.”

Well, he thinks, maybe that wasn’t completely true. There has been a few people coming back from the dead in Oakdale, but in those cases the person was never actually dead to begin with.

“You should learn how to separate facts from fiction, Mr. Snyder,” Reid says. “This is not a movie were the dead start climbing out of their graves at midnight. This is a chemical virus made by idiots who should have known better.”

“A virus?”

“You ever heard of a drug called Ceregen made by MediTech?” Joanne asks. When Luke shakes his head she continues. “It´s supposed to be the magic cure to Alzheimer’s and similar diseases where the nerve endings in the brain atrophy. To simplify it, let´s just say it´s said to regenerate brain tissue.”

Reid snorts, picks up one of the bags and walks over to the candy stand in the store. He starts shuffling down every bag of chips, peanuts and chocolate bar he sees before continuing to the drinks.

“Neurosurgeons and press from all over the world were invited to a medical conference in Las Vegas to hear more of this miracle drug, only it didn´t turn out as planned.”

Luke turns his attention back to Joanne. “We were sitting there listening to these doctors go on and on about how this drug would change the world and how all their test subjects had shown incredible improvements. I didn´t hear all of it though, Reid was sitting next to me sharing his true opinion. He was not impressed.”

Joanne looks over at Reid, who´s finished packing all the sodas in the bag and is now busy stuffing his face with chips, and gives him what Luke can only describe as a fond smile.

“What happened next?” he asks and Joanne´s focus turns back to him.

“They wanted us to meet some of the test subjects so we could see for ourselves. An older woman and maybe eight men came out and started talking about how they all had Alzheimer’s and how their memory had improved after being treated with Ceregen. The journalists were up front, taking photos and filming and suddenly one of the men throws himself of the stage and onto a journalist.”

“At first, I thought he had a stroke or a heart attack but on the screen we could see how he was biting the poor woman repeatedly. There was blood everywhere and it was as if that spurred the others on. Suddenly, the room was in complete chaos, people trying to escape and these, these things were everywhere, attacking everyone they could. It was like we were suddenly in a really bad movie. It didn´t feel real.”

Reid walks over and hands Luke a coke and a chocolate bar. He´s completely lost his appetite though so he shakes his head but Reid drops the snacks in his lap anyway.

“Eat it,” he says gruffly and jumps up to sit on the counter. “You´ll need it.”

“When we finally got out we went to the hospital and figured they could need all the extra hands they could get, but when we got there we realized it was a mistake. Whatever had happened to those test subjects we saw, it was happening there too. The place was a mess and after that everything just got worse, there didn´t seem to be a way to stop it. We were trapped at the hospital for almost five days and barely made it out alive.”

Joanne looks up at Reid and puts a hand on his leg, giving it a light squeeze. “Our friends and colleagues didn´t.” 

“They put the whole city in quarantine, but it was too late. Apparently MediTech had distributed Ceregen not only to most of the hospitals in America, but to several others all over the world in their trial studies. The last broadcast we saw was from France.” Joanne sighs and looks away. ”Let´s just say that the reporter got bitten and you can guess how bad it was.”

“But what about…”

“Are you bitten?” Reid suddenly interrupts.

“No, they never got close enough, thanks to you.” He looks up at Reid and tries to smile and while he´s not expecting Reid to smile back, he´s not prepared to see a gun pointed at his head.

“Reid?” Joanne asks, and Luke´s not sure what to think.

“If you´re not bitten, what´s wrong with your hand?” Reid asks calmly and dips the gun towards the hand in Luke´s lap.

“My hand?” Luke looks down at it and suddenly realizes what Reid means. The bandage he swept around the wound from the IV needle is covered in blood and could just as easily cover up a bite wound.

“Oh! No, my hand was bleeding when I pulled out the IV needle, I swear I´m not bitten.”

Reid just raises an eyebrow but doesn´t lower the gun, so Luke quickly unwraps the bandage and shows him his hand, which thankfully isn´t bleeding anymore. Reid examines it closely before giving a curt nod and puts the gun away.

“I´m sorry, Luke,” Joanne says apologetically, which is unnecessary, if anyone should be apologizing it should be Reid and not her. Reid doesn´t seem to care about that though. “But we´ve seen people trying to hide that they´re infected and it´s a risk we cannot take.”

“What happens after you get bitten?” Luke asks. “Do you turn into one of those things immediately or…?” He trails off, not sure he really wants to hear the answer but at the same time, he needs to know.

“It depends. The ones who got infected by someone who had taken the drug turned almost immediately, that´s why it spread so fast. Most of them are probably dead now though, we can´t explain why but they seemed to only survive a few days.” She huffs out a laugh. “Then again, how can anyone explain anything these days? Anyway, if you were to be bitten it would take approximately 24 hours before you would turn.”

Luke rests his forehead in his palms and shakes his head. “I can´t believe this is happening.”

Joanne puts her arm around his shoulders. “I´m sorry, I understand this is a lot to take in.”

Luke closes his eyes and is suddenly painfully homesick. He misses his family so much that it hurts. “My family,” he begins, “do you think they´re--?” He trails off again, not able to say the word dead aloud, ridiculously afraid that saying it makes it true.

“Yes,” Reid says and Luke´s heart sinks.

“Reid!” Joanne exclaims.

“What? There´s no point in sugarcoating it. You know as well as I do that it´s highly unlikely that they´re alive.” He turns towards Luke. “You should pray that they are dead, because if they´re not they´ve turned into monsters.”

“That´s enough, Reid.”

“Fine, have it your way.” He shrugs and walks over to the bags and pulls out a sleeping bag. “It´s getting dark so it´s better if we stay here tonight.” He rolls out the sleeping bag and removes his jacket but keeps his shoes and other clothes on before climbing in. He puts a gun and a knife within reach before turning his back at them, using the jacket as a pillow.

“Don´t listen to him, Luke,” Joanne says softly. “There´s still hope.”

“He doesn´t seem to think so.”

“Reid thinks in terms of facts and statistics, not with his heart. I know he comes off as a bit rude and unemotional, but he´s a good man. A good friend. Without him I wouldn´t be here.” She takes a deep breath. “He´s right though, it is late and we need to get some sleep.”

She grabs the other bag and pulls out another sleeping bag which she hands to Luke. “You can take mine, Reid and I can share.”

He opens his mouth to protest but changes his mind. “Thank you.”

“Stay close and keep your shoes on.” He looks at her questioningly and she continues. “In case we´re attacked and need to get out of here fast.”

He does as she says and watches as she too removes her jacket, revealing two hand guns and a knife. “Good night, Luke.”

“Good night.” He rolls over onto his back and puts his arm under his head. His thoughts are spinning and he has a hard time comprehending what they told him. If he hadn´t seen the zombies for himself he would have thought they were insane, but as it is he has no other choice than to accept everything they said.

He needs to get back to Oakdale, however, because despite what Reid said, he still believes that his family is safe, that they somehow made it through this and that he´ll see them again. He needs to believe it, because the thought of a life without his mom, dads, siblings and his grandmothers is terrifying. He rolls over onto his side and wonders how on earth he´s supposed to fall asleep.

“Telling lies about me again, Jo?” He hears Reid say and to his surprise, he sounds amused.

“It wouldn´t be lies if you stopped acting like an insensitive jerk.”

Reid snorts. “But then I wouldn´t be me.”

“Point. Now, scoot over, your bony hip is digging holes in my stomach.”

There´s a lot of rustling and a few curse words before it gets quiet. Joanne was right though, Reid is an insensitive jerk and he has no idea what she sees in him. He realizes he didn´t ask where they are heading and wonders if there´s any way he can convince them to help him get back to Oakdale. 

***

After a whole night of tossing and turning and fighting back panic, Luke manages to fall into a dreamless sleep and only a couple of hours later wakes up to the sound of people arguing in hushed voices. At first he doesn´t remember where he is but then he recognizes the low but rough tone of Reid´s voice.

“Absolutely not, Jo! The last person you wanted to save nearly had us both killed. I can´t understand why we´re even having this discussion.”

Luke watches them through his lashes and sees that Reid and Joanne have packed their stuff and look to be ready to leave. Afraid that they´re going to leave without him, he was just about to announce that he´s awake when Joanne´s voice stops him. 

“Reid, we can´t just leave him here! He´s in no shape to be left alone, we have to help him.”

Reid huffs out a breath. “Absolutely not.”

“Well, I´m going to help him whether you like it or not.” She takes a few steps towards Reid so that they´re face to face and whatever it is he sees in her eyes makes him shake his head and raise his hands in surrender. “Fine, suit yourself. You´re going to regret it though.”

Joanne laughs and leans forward to kiss his cheek. “And I´m sure you can´t wait to get the chance to say ‘I told you so’.”

“Damn right I will. Now, wake him up, we´re leaving in ten.”

Luke quickly closes his eyes and pretends to be sleeping until he feels a hand lightly shaking his shoulder.

“Luke?” Joanne leans over him and pushes gently. “Time to wake up!”

He slowly opens his eyes and blinks owlishly. “What?”

Joanne smiles down at him and rubs his shoulder. “You need to get up and get ready, we´re leaving in ten minutes.”

“Where?” Luke rubs his eyes and sits up. He stretches his neck in an attempt to get rid of the ache there from sleeping on a floor without a pillow.

“Reid and I are attempting to go to Chicago, where did you say your family was again?”

Luke feels a rush of relief, Chicago isn´t that far from Oakdale and it´s much better than he could hope for.

“Oakdale,” he answers, a glimmer of hope in his heart. He climbs out of the sleeping bag and starts to roll it up in excitement.

“Where the hell is Oakdale?” Reid asks, disdain clear in his voice.

“Less than 50 miles from St. Louis,” Luke replies shortly, irritated by Reid´s tone.

“Well, isn´t that convenient. Now, get a move on, Mr. Snyder.”

Since Luke doesn´t have anything to pack he hands Joanne the sleeping bag and they´re ready to go. There´s no denying that he´s scared when Joanne opens up the gate with a gun clasped in her free hand and it doesn´t help that Reid stands ready with a rifle aimed towards the streets but to his relief it´s empty outside and they slowly move forward.

Joanne silently lowers the gate down behind them before raising her gun. They quickly walk down the street, Reid taking the lead with Luke in the middle. It takes a while for him to realize that they´re keeping him in the middle in case there is an attack, he´s unarmed and can´t do anything to defending himself so they´re protecting him.

The thought is haunting.

This, more than anything he´s seen so far, including Father Stevens and the others from the church chasing him, confirms that they´re fighting for survival here and Luke might not have understood it before but he does now. He can´t help but feel grateful for meeting Reid and Joanne, even if Reid seems to be an asshole, because without them he probably wouldn´t be alive right now. Or worse, he would’ve been a zombie.

Reid and Joanne have a car, but before leaving they search the stores nearby for new clothes and other essentials for Luke. Many of the stores, as expected, are trashed but they manage to find a large hiking bag, a sleeping bag and other necessities before leaving. Luke is grateful to get out of the hospital clothes and while he doesn´t like Reid pointing out what he should wear, he does as he says. Reid and Joanne also change clothes and Reid grumbles and complains about how he’d not had a proper shower in weeks.

“How much gas do we have left?” Joanne says when they´re in the car. She leans over to check the meter herself and sighs happily when she sees that there is almost half a tank.

Apparently, finding a car in larger cities is easy, but it´s also harder to drive there, and Luke quickly understands why. Sometimes the roads are blocked with crashed or abandoned vehicles and it´s not always easy to pass them. The highways are impossible to drive on, too many people trying to escape at the same time led to mile long queues with now abandoned cars and Luke tries hard to not think about what happened to the people driving them. So they stick to smaller roads and hope that when their car runs out of gas there´s another one close by. Since the electricity has been out, the gas pumps don’t work which is why it´s easier to take a new car then trying to pump up the gas by hand.

Instead of taking the I-90 all the way to Chicago they choose route two through Wenatchee National forest to Spokane.

Luke learns that while it still feels weird and freaks him out to see the streets empty and abandoned it´s easier to handle when you have company. Joanne is constantly talking, asking questions about Luke and his life, or telling him stories of their journey so far. She´s a kind and caring woman with a quirky sense of humor and Luke instantly likes her. She is also the complete opposite to Reid, who doesn´t seem to be able to say a single sentence without insulting someone. Joanne doesn´t seem to care though and gives as good as she gets. 

As it turns out, Reid and Joanne are both neurosurgeons from Boston and the reason they´re going to Chicago is in the hopes that the military has set up a medical basecamp to produce a vaccine there. There was a radio broadcast a few weeks ago asking all people with any kind of medical training to report there and while the radio´s been down since then they still have hope that there will be a functioning hospital, and more importantly a lab there. According to Joanne, Reid thinks that if he´s able to study a sample of brain tissue from the infected, there´s a high chance that he can figure out how to produce an antidote.

“You´re really that good?” Luke asks disbelievingly.

Reid huffs and shoots him a glance in the rearview mirror. “I´m the best there is.”

Luke looks at Joanne. “Well, he really is.” She smiles, “If anyone can come up with a way to fix this mess, it´s going to be Reid.”

“If you´re that good, then why don’t you think of a cure instead?” Luke turns his gaze back to Reid´s profile in the mirror. “Isn´t saving the ones infected just as important?”

“I may be the best there is, but I´m not God,” Reid replies sarcastically.

“What do you mean?”

“It means that I cannot raise the dead, Mr. Snyder. Don´t you know anything about zombies? All the infected ones are dead. There´s no heart beating, they don´t need to breathe or eat or sleep, the only thing that keeps them going is the Ceregen regenerating the cells in their brains, without that they´re just corpses.”

Luke closes his eyes and once again wishes he hadn´t asked a thing.

***

While Luke would have thought that driving to Chicago would be easy and the journey would be fairly quick, maybe a week at the most, they´re not even in Spokane after three days. It turns out that it didn´t really matter how much gas there was in the tank, when there was a truck blocking the entire road shortly after they passed Wenatchee, the journey was bound to be slow. Joanne had sighed and Reid had cursed but there was nothing more they could do except strap on their bags and start walking.

Luke was still rather weak having only woken up from his coma a couple days ago and his muscles started aching after only an hour of walking. He felt dizzy and nauseous and had trouble eating to keep his strength up which led to them to take a break every so often. Luke tries to keep up the same pace as the others, since he knew Reid didn´t want him there in the first place, but when the sun starts to set, he can barely stand up straight. Joanne takes pity on him and orders Reid to find a house that´s safe enough to spend the night in.

Reid leads them to a small two-story house a mile or two’s walk from where he’d let them rest. He’d searched every room beforehand and found the house empty and declared it safe enough to spend the night in. Joanne tells Luke to sit down on the sofa and have something to eat and drink and to relax. Luke feels bad for slowing them down and not helping and so follows Reid and Joanne around in an attempt to make the house safe until Reid tells him to, “Sit down and eat Mr. Snyder, you´re not helping,” and he figures he can do exactly that. After they´ve blocked the windows with sheets and blankets and barricaded both doors, they join him in the living room. Luke falls asleep to the sound of them discussing which road to take next and into a dreamless sleep until morning.

When he wakes up, the first thing he sees is Joanne´s sleeping face in Reid´s lap on the floor beside him. Reid is fully awake, sitting up and staring into nothing.

Luke clears his throat. “Haven´t you slept?”

Reid jumps at the sound of his raspy voice. “Joanne took the first watch, I´ve been awake since 2am.”

Luke suddenly feels embarrassed for not participating in the vigil, which is ridiculous since no one woke him up, but still. “You should have told me, I could´ve stayed up, too.”

Reid snorts. “You slept like a log. We could have been eaten by zombies and you would just have kept snoring.”

Luke sits up and removes the blanket since someone, most probably Joanne, had been thoughtful enough to wrap it around him. “I don´t snore!”

Reid looks at him incredulously. “Well, you’ve been doing a pretty good imitation of it all night.” He shakes his head. “Trust me, you snore.”

Luke ignores the jibe and awkwardly rubs his neck. “So, what´s the plan for today?”

At that, Joanne wakes up and it turns out that today´s plan is more walking and hoping that they can find a car.

For some reason, many of the abandoned cars are locked, which is ridiculous but Luke figures that the human brain is programmed to lock the car when you leave it, and even during their panicked state the person’s habit is not lost. However it is very annoying.

They walk all day and Luke feels bad for slowing them down even though neither of them say a thing. Joanne keeps up the conversation the whole time and Luke feels grateful that it´s not just him and Reid. He really likes Joanne, she feels like the big sister he never had. She´s kind and funny and he can´t think of a better person he could have met when the world as he knew it was ending.

Unfortunately, his feelings towards Reid are much more complex.

While Reid is undoubtedly smart and obviously cares a great deal about Joanne he barely talks to Luke more than it is absolutely necessary. He talks a lot to Joanne though, and if they really are a couple, Joanne must be a masochist. It´s not that he´s rude to her, it´s just that everything Reid says seems to be either ironic or sarcastic and Luke has no idea how Joanne stands it. Reid is really good looking though, the rare times he actually does smile, his whole face lights up and at those times Luke can´t help but stare at him. He figures his attraction towards Reid is only there since Reid´s the only guy he´s spent time with lately. Even though he´s only had a few relationships with guys he´s genuinely liked, he can still totally appreciate a hot guy when there is one in front of him. Even if the guy is in a relationship with a girl and lacks every sense of politeness there is, Luke decides to ignore it – it’s the best thing to do.

They spend the next night in another house and this time Luke forces Joanne to wake him up when it´s her turn to keep watch. They spend the time talking about Luke´s family and his work and it´s not until they wake Reid, that he realizes that he still knows nothing about her or Reid, besides what they do for a living.

The rest of the week moves forward slowly. They finally manage to get car and Luke enjoys being able to sit in the back with his eyes closed, listening to Reid and Joanne´s bickering.

They arrive in Spokane after five days and by then, Luke´s getting used to living the way they do. Spokane, in comparison, is definitely not a big town but it is the biggest one they´ve been to since Chicago. They leave the car outside a Wal-Mart, since it was almost out of gas, and Reid starts going through their bags while Joanne hands Luke a gun to hold on to. It´s a small handgun which seems fairly easy to use but Luke has no idea how to actually use it.

“I think it´s time for you to have a gun too, Luke. You need something to defend yourself with,” she says when he doesn´t take it from her outstretched hand.

Reid looks up. “Only bitch is that you have to shoot them in the head. They don´t feel any pain and there´s no heart beating so while shooting off a leg to slow them down is good, it won´t kill them. A clean shot to the brain does it though.”

Luke shakes his head and takes a step back. “I´m sorry, but I can´t possibly use a gun. I´ve been on the receiving end of one too many times to feel comfortable even holding one and there´s no way I would be able to shoot another person, zombie or not.”

Reid rolls his eyes and seems to be on the verge on the saying something insulting, but Joanne raises her hand and Reid snorts, turning back to their bags to go through their stack of ammunition.

“Okay Luke, I see your point and I might not agree but it´s your decision. Could you at least consider it? How about this time you bring a baseball bat with you, so you have something to defend yourself with?”

Luke reluctantly takes the bat and places it in his right hand.

“Same goes for the bat, aim for the head,” Reid reminds him and Luke swallows hard before nodding.

Thankfully the store is empty. It´s clear that they´re not the first ones to have wanted to ransack it, because while there are still some things left, all of the canned food is gone, as is all of the water and most of the snacks. Luke finds a couple of bottles of soda and packs them in his bag, along with toothpaste, crackers and some chocolate bars.

“Luke!” He suddenly hears Joanne call. Heart jumping to his throat, he takes a firm grip on his baseball bat before walking over to her and Reid. They´re standing at the fruit and vegetable section and while most of it is too rotten to even contemplate eating. But there is a stack of perfect green apples that makes Luke´s mouth water. They silently stare at the fresh fruit in awe.

Reid´s the first one to move, and starts to shovel the apples into his bag. “Well, thank god for pesticides,” he says which makes Luke and Joanne break out in a laugh. They take one apple each and it´s the best thing Luke can ever remember eating.

 

They find a new car a few blocks from the store with almost a full tank of gas and load their bags and their extra supplies into it. Reid and Joanne are leaning over the map lying on the engine hood and discussing which road they should take next but Luke zones them out, wanting to enjoy the spring sun on his face. It´s warm enough to take off his jacket and while the nights are still chilly, the days are getting brighter and warmer. He lets himself think of his parents and siblings and wonders what they are doing right now, if they´re thinking of him. No matter what Reid says, he refuses to give up the hope of them being alive. He imagines that he would feel the loss if they were gone, surely the strong bond he shares with his family would alert him in some way if they had died.

He shakes his head and opens his eyes.

Such depressing thoughts do no good for him, keeping faith is the only option he has. Luke looks around him and his eyes land on a building on the opposite them. It´s a regular six floor apartment block made of yellow bricks. Luke tries so very hard not to think of what happened to the people that had lived there. It´s still so hard to comprehend how the hell so many people died or got turned in to something else because of a stupid virus. He desperately hopes that some of the people here made it out safely and are somewhere else. He stares at the building for a little longer when he catches a movement out of the corner of his eye. He quickly directs his gaze at the window in question and he was right, there is a person standing with their back towards him, and beside them is a smaller person who looks like a child. Luke takes a few steps towards the building and squints, and yes, it´s definitely a child. He feels hope rushing through him, it must mean that there are other survivors up there.

“Joanne,” he says excitedly, “Joanne, I think I saw another survivor up there!”

Joanne and Reid both look up from the map and tries to see where Luke´s pointing. “I don´t see anything,” Reid says dismissively and turns back to the map.

“C’mon, don´t tell me you can´t see them, sixth floor, second window from the left.”

“I don´t know Luke, there might be someone but it can just as well be zombies.” Joanne sounds unsure.

“But it´s a small kid, I´m sure it is! Shouldn´t we help them?”

“It´s too big of a risk, Snyder, now get in the car.” Reid folds the map and walks over to the driver’s side, sensing danger afoot. Luke turns his gaze towards Joanne.

“I´m sorry, Luke but Reid´s right. It´s too big of a risk,” she says apologetically.

Luke shakes his head disbelievingly. “I can´t believe you two! I can’t just leave a child to die – I can’t—I have to go and help.”

He turns around and heads for the door to the building, ignoring Reid´s angry shouts for him to wait. He quickly gets inside and runs up the first set of stairs, thinking that if the survivors were hiding out on the highest floor it shouldn’t take so long to get to them. He´s two floors up when he hears someone behind him and while he hopes that it´s Joanne, he expects it to be a pissed off Reid, so when he turns around and is met by a young woman who´s clearly out to eat him, he´s surprised to say the least. Although he shouldn’t be, he knew exactly what he was getting himself into.

He hadn’t seen an undead since Seattle and despite what Joanne and Reid had told him, and what he had seen in the church himself, he had thought they were safe now. Reid had warned him from going anywhere alone, but clearly Luke´s just as much of an idiot here as he is at home. He can´t even follow the simplest of instructions.

There´s no way out and back to the safety of his companions, so he turns back and continues to run up the stairs. She´s fast though, and when he reaches the top floor and sees that one of the doors are open, he quickly runs inside and slams the door in her face. He leans his back against the door while trying to catch his breath when he hears a growl in front of him and when he looks up he sees five zombies watching him, and one of them is indeed a small child.

Somehow Luke hadn´t even thought of the possibility that children could get infected too. It’s an odd thing to think but Luke thought that maybe their innocence would be spared. The zombies move towards him, looking just as terrifying as Father Stevens had looked in the church. Luke has nowhere to go. He´s trapped and curses his own stupidity because this is his own damn fault. He takes a firm grip on the bat and raises it into a standard batting position. When the zombies are less than five feet away, he hears a shot being fired from behind the door. He reaches for the door handle when the door suddenly slams open and Luke is thrown to the floor. He has never before been so grateful to see a gun.

Reid shoots the closest two zombies with perfect headshots and Joanne takes out the two and Luke blows out a breath, relieved. But that’s until he sees the girl who had chased him up the stairs moving up behind Joanne. She has a hole in her chest but as Reid had told him, that doesn´t seem to stop her. He opens his mouth to warn her, but it´s too late. At the same time, he hears Reid fire another shot for a zombie he hadn’t quite put down but the girl wraps her arm around Joanne´s throat and bites her in the neck. He sees the teeth sink into Joanne´s skin and watches the girl quickly chew and rip at her skin. Luke can´t look anymore and turns his gaze toward Reid, who´s scanning the room for more zombies and looks rather pleased with himself after thinking he got the last one.

Luke finally finds his voice. “Reid!”

Reid quickly turns around and when he sees the zombie eating from his friend, the pleased expression on his face falls and he raises his gun and shoots it, the zombie falling backward.

It´s too late though.

Joanne falls to her knees, clutching the bite on her neck and Luke´s feeling sick from all the blood she´s losing, it’s soaked into her shirt turning it sickeningly crimson. Joanne and Reid are staring at each other and Reid doesn´t even try to help her or stop the bleeding.

“Don´t just stand there,” Luke says incredulously. “Do something!”

“Reid,” Joanne says, her voice´s surprisingly firm and her gaze is focused on Reid. He stares right back at her and they seem to be having a whole wordless conversation that Luke isn´t a part of.

Finally, Reid gives her a curt nod and Joanne gives him a shaky smile and closes her eyes. Luke has no idea what´s going on and before he can react Reid raises his gun again and shoots Joanne straight in the head.

“No!” Luke screams and crawls over to Joanne, lifting her lifeless body into his lap. “You killed her.” He runs his fingers through Joanne´s bloody hair. He raises his gaze towards Reid, who´s still staring at Joanne. “You killed her,” he says again, accusingly.

Reid tears his eyes away from Joanne and meets Luke`s instead. “She´s infected, I did what I had to,” he says dismissively which only fuels Luke´s anger.

“You didn´t have to kill her,” Luke objects. “You both told me it takes 24 hours before you turn into one of those things. You could have helped her.”

Reid shakes his head. “There is no help, how many times do I have to tell you that? There is a 100 percent certainty that she would´ve turned.”

“I can´t believe you,” Luke says vehemently and despite the anger he feels rushing through his body, he carefully puts Joanne down on the floor before standing up. “You could´ve at least given her those last 24 hours.” He takes a few steps closer to Reid, who´s wearing that emotionless mask Luke has come to hate and looks him steadily in the eyes. “But no, you just shot her in the head, as if she didn´t mean anything to you. You might be a doctor but I don´t think you have any feelings at all.”

To say he´s surprised when Reid suddenly grabs his arms and slams him against the wall would be an understatement. “You have no idea what you´re talking about Mr. Snyder, so shut the hell up.” Reid looks absolutely furious and Luke fleetingly wonders if he prefers this Reid, instead of the one that shows no feelings at all.

“You think I should have let her suffer through another 24 hours, fully knowing what she would´ve become when they ended? Maybe I didn´t explain clearly what happens after one gets bitten, so listen closely, Mr. Snyder, because I´m going to give you all the details.”

Luke swallows hard and meets Reid’s steady gaze as he continues. “The first five hours wouldn´t be that bad, there would be increasing pain and discoloration of the infected area, but there´s also immediate clotting of the wound so at least she wouldn´t have to worry about dying from blood loss.”

Luke huffs and tries to push Reid off of him. Reid´s much stronger though and easily holds Luke to the wall. “It´s after that though, that the fun begins. Her body temperature would rise, she´d start to vomit uncontrollably and from time to time she´d forget where she was and wouldn’t know what’s going on.”

Luke´s arms are starting to hurt and he´s going to have bruises the size of Reid´s hands there tomorrow so he forces his body to relax but Reid`s grip is relentless. “That part only lasts for thre to four hours though. Then her fever would hit 106 degrees, she would slowly lose control of her muscles and eleven hours in her lower body would be paralyzed and her with no memory would be shot to hell. The only thing she would know is this excruciating pain that no painkiller in the world could lessen.”

Reid suddenly lets him go and takes a few steps back. “After sixteen hours she would slip into a coma and in another four, her heart would stop beating. After that there would be nothing left of the Jo we knew.”

He walks over to Joanne and crouches beside her. “Jo and I made a deal after we found out what was happening.” His voice is soft now and there´s no anger in it anymore. “I held up my end of it, I´m certain she would have done the same if the roles were reversed.”

Luke flushes with shame because this is entirely his fault. If he hadn´t run off, if he had just listened to what Reid and Joanne had told him, if he hadn´t been a complete idiot then Joanne would still be alive now. Reid hadn´t killed Joanne because he didn´t care about her, he did it because he did care and Luke can´t believe that he´d been so blind and didn´t see it. He takes a few steps forward and tentatively puts his hand on Reid´s shoulder.

“Red, I´m so sorry, I….”

“Save it Mr. Snyder,” Reid snaps and shakes off his hand. “I´m not interested in your excuses and if you ever run off again, I´m leaving you on your own.” He picks up Joanne´s gun and pockets it before walking towards the door. “And should you ever get infected, I´ll remember to let you enjoy your last hours as a human.”

Reid stomps out the door and Luke kneels beside Joanne. “I´m so sorry,” he whispers, feeling tears run down his cheeks. “This is all my fault and I´m so, so sorry.” He brushes his fingers against her cheek before hastily following Reid out to the car.

The car ride is heavy with an uncomfortable silence. Luke misses Joanne, he misses her stories and questions and her good mood. He even misses Reid´s sarcastic remarks and their never ending bickering. He tries to sleep but every time he closes his eyes he sees Joanne´s face after she got infected and he realizes that her last smile meant that she was grateful to Reid for keeping their promise. He feels his cheeks flush with shame again, his skin crawling with guilt.

“Reid?” He tries when they´ve been silent for over two hours. Reid doesn´t answer or give any indication that he´s even heard him, but Luke continues anyway. “I thought that maybe it´s time for me to learn how to shoot?”

Reid still doesn´t look at him but after a while he nods and Luke relaxes enough to finally fall asleep.

***  
The next few days are awkward and tense. They continue towards Chicago and since Joanne´s not there to share the driving with Reid, he lets Luke drive when he´s too tired to keep his eyes open. They pass through several small towns and only stop when they need a new car or supplies. When they go into a store or a gas station, Luke stays behind Reid and does exactly as he says. They come across a few dead bodies but just like before there are no signs of any zombies, or survivors. Luke can´t help but think that this whole scene is out of a book, something like Phantoms by Dean R. Koontz. The towns are empty and everything is deserted.

It´s both scary and unreal.

They don’t talk more than absolutely necessary. Luke tries to keep up a conversation at first, asking Reid questions about his job and if he really thinks there´s a way to produce a vaccine and when he doesn´t get any response he talks to Reid about anything and everything, something to fill the silence. Reid never responds to that either and Luke guesses that if there still was a radio broadcast Reid would have turned it on just to shut Luke up. He can´t help it though. He feels so bad for accusing Reid for not caring about Joanne and the guilt over her death is overwhelming him. Reid´s his only hope of getting back to his family and he can´t risk getting left behind.

He knows he should give Reid some time. Whether or not he shows it, Luke knows Reid is mourning. While he´s not sure if Joanne and Reid were a couple or not, she was at least a very good friend and it´s Luke´s fault that she´s dead and he knows Reid has a right to be mad at him. He knows all of this but he can´t stand the silence. When Luke´s nervous or scared, he babbles and Reid´s constant ignorance of him is getting on his nerves. It takes three days until he snaps.

“I know you hate me but could you at least stop ignoring me?” He suddenly blurts out somewhere between Lewiston and Missoula. They´ve been walking for what feels like hours in the burning sun, his feet are hurting and it doesn´t feel like the sun screen he put on that morning is doing its job anymore. His bag, which contains his sleeping bag, two water bottles and their medical kit, is heavy and his back is completely soaked with sweat. He wants a shower or at least a five minute break but Reid just keeps on walking. They´d had to abandon the car earlier and hunting down a new one seems to get harder and harder. Sometimes Luke wonders if walking the I-90 wouldn´t have been faster than choosing to drive through the smaller roads when they seem to end up walking most of the time anyway.

“I´m not ignoring you.” Reid answers to Luke´s surprise.

“Oh please,” he says sarcastically. “You haven´t said a word to me for three days besides giving orders.” He lowers his voice a little in an attempt to imitate Reid´s. “Snyder, grab all the water bottles you can find. It´s your time to drive, Mr. Snyder.” He goes back to his normal voice. “My name is Luke! And I was wrong, okay? I should have listened to you and I´m so sorry, but could you please stop punishing me and just talk to me?” He takes a deep breath, a little surprised by his outburst but he gets even more surprised when Reid stops walking and turns towards him.

“Look, it´s not like I don´t like to talk, I´m just not interested in participating or listening to that inane small talk you´ve been pestering me with. I don´t care how many times your mother´s been married and I don’t care about any of your other insane childhood stories.”

Luke wonders briefly if he himself even knows how many times his mother been married, but the thought of his family hurts so he quickly changes the topic. “Well, what are you interested in then?”

Reid sighs, rubs his eyes and starts walking again. “Brain surgery, chess and baseball.” He thinks for a minute. “Sex. Not necessarily in that order.”

Luke raises his eyebrows. “Wow, isn´t that material worthy of an online dating profile.” He glances at Reid who seems unable to hold back a smile and Luke feels a little bit better. He had almost forgotten how much he liked Reid´s smile.

“So, chess, huh? I´m actually pretty good, we should play sometime.” Reid´s smile grows wider and Luke makes a mental note to try and find a chess board the next time they´re doing a supply run.

After that it gets easier, Reid isn´t exactly friendly but he answers when Luke asks about something and sometimes they manage to keep up a conversation without Reid insulting him for more than five sentences in a row. They´re still walking most of the time and finding a car seems to be getting harder and harder. Once whilst walking, they heard a car approaching and while Luke relished in the thought of more survivors he didn´t hesitate to follow Reid´s order to hide. They hid behind some bushes on the side of the road and watched the car pass by and come to a halt just a few feet in front of them. Two heavily armed men jumped out and searched the two crashed and abandoned cars on the road. They dragged a body outside and to Luke´s horror it looked like one of the men was removing the jewelry and the wallet of the deceased before going back to their car and driving away.

“Scavenger hunters,” Reid whispers as an answer to Luke´s raised eyebrows. When the car is gone they continue walking and Reid tells him about what he and Joanne have seen the other survivors do thus far and also about their obsession with gold and money. As if that makes a difference now. Luke feels extremely grateful that the first people he met when he’d woken up were Reid and Joanne.

“Maybe now´s the time for you to learn how to use a weapon,” Reid says and Luke can only agree.

***

Weapon training is not what Luke imagined it would to be. Besides Reid and Joanne, he´s seen people fire guns way more often than most guys his age and it always looked pretty easy. Well, either looks can deceive or Luke´s just appallingly bad. If he were to ask Reid, he would probably go with the latter. Reid had set up a straight line of ten soda cans and given Luke one of the smaller guns and while Luke has no problem with loading it or aiming, he can´t hit a single can no matter how many times he tries.

“For God´s sake Mr. Snyder, stop closing your damn eyes every time you pull the trigger.”

Reid is more irritated than usual and it´s not like Luke can blame him. He knows he´s beyond bad at this whole shooting business but he wasn´t lying when he told Joanne he wouldn´t be able to shoot someone. He doesn´t like guns and no matter how hard he tries he can´t keep his eyes open whilst firing. While he´s physically strong enough to hold up the gun for longer periods of time, he is still having trouble handling the force of the guns release. Even if he´s not staggering anymore, his wrist hurts and his eyes snap shut every time he pulls the trigger. After his umpteenth attempt that ends up being a failure, Reid seems to lose his patience completely and stomps up to him and while he´s prepared for Reid to snatch the gun out of his hands and give up on him, he´s not prepared for Reid to press up right along his back and put his hands on his hips.

“W-what are you doing?” Luke asks, going completely rigid.

“Look, I’m not enjoying this any more than you are, but the fact is that Jo´s gone and while I´m an excellent shot, I may need someone to back me up.” Reid´s warm breath tickles his ear and Luke shivers involuntarily.

“Sadly, that someone is you,” Reid continues and he doesn´t sound even the slightest bit affected by their proximity. If anything though, he sounds a little friendlier than usual, as if he´s making an effort to be nice.

Luke is about to say that there´s no way he´ll ever be able to hit anything with a gun when Reid´s right hand slides along his thigh and down to his knee and Luke is horrified to realize that the feeling of Reid´s groin pressed against his ass is making him hard.

“Your stance is terrible; spread your legs a little bit more.” Reid takes a firm grip on said knee and pulls a little and Luke´s legs fly apart embarrassingly fast. “Not that much, you´re not supposed to do splits,” Reid huffs amused and Luke feels his entire body flush. His heart beats so hard and fast that he´s sure Reid can hear it. He wants to do nothing more than to turn around and kiss Reid´s stupid mouth, but he forces himself to relax because Reid is straight and he doesn´t want him to dislike him anymore than he already does. Besides, he doesn´t even like Reid, he only needs him so he can get back home to his family and that´s more important than getting off, even if his dick doesn´t seem to agree.

When Reid is satisfied with his stance he lets his hand slide agonizingly slow all the way up along Luke´s body until his hands are clasped around Luke´s on the gun, helping to support and aim it. His hands are soft and warm, with long fingers and Luke imagines those hands on other parts of his body. His breathing is becoming more and more erratic and he´s certain that his face is roughly the same color as a tomato. Reid keeps on talking but Luke doesn´t hear a word of what he´s saying. 

When Reid finally lets go and takes a few steps back, Luke´s so turned on and freaked out about the way he feels, that he is unable to concentrate and misses the next ten shots. He lowers the gun and glances at Reid, who´s pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, eyes closed. Luke suspects it´s his way of praying for patience to not tell Luke exactly what a terrible shot he is.

“How about we take a break for dinner?” Luke asks tentatively, because food always puts Reid in a better mood.

Dinner is canned mushrooms and canned beans and Luke would give away everything he owns to eat something that doesn´t come out of a can. He misses freshly baked bread, he misses steaks and vegetables more than he could ever imagine, probably because he´s never been in a situation where he couldn´t get any of it for this long before. At least Reid had decided that it was light enough for it to be safe to make a fire today, which means that they can heat up the food before eating it. Canned beans aren’t particularly tasty normally but eating it cold is just disgusting. Reid shoves the beans into his mouth like it´s filet minion and Luke suspects that eating was and is a hobby for the doctor before the world ended and turned into this madness. Not that it shows, but Reid is extremely fit with toned muscles and nicely defined abs. Maybe he is a bit too skinny but food is scarce these days and they have to ration it. Luke shakes his head and tries to get rid of the mental image of Reid´s naked chest.

“So, when did you learn how to shoot?” he asks as he eats another spoonful.

“About eight weeks ago,” Reid answers with his mouth full of beans, and it should probably be disgusting to watch but Luke finds it more endearing than anything else.

“You´re messing with me,” he says, a little annoyed. He doesn’t know why he feels this way because of the obvious lie or the fact that he finds Reid´s appallingly eating habits cute. He stares at Reid, who just meets his gaze steadily with eyebrows raised. “´C’mon, no one gets that good in eight weeks.”

Reid snorts. “I´m a brain surgeon, it´s my job to remove bullets from the brain, not to put them there in the first place.” His face darkens and he looks away. “At least that was my job.”

“Hey, it`s a good way to get new patients, if nothing else,” Luke jokes and to his relief Reid smiles.

“I don`t need any new patients, I´ll have you know that my waiting list is over a year long.” Reid scrapes up to eat what’s left on his plate and glances, not exactly discreetly, at Luke´s still almost full plate. “Besides, I´m a surgeon, I need to protect my hands. You have no idea how many injuries can occur to your hands and fingers when simply firing a gun.”

Afraid that Reid will recite all possible injuries handling a weapon can cause and not interested in hearing about them Luke quickly continues. “Still, how can you be so good if you´ve never done it before?”

“I made a choice,” Reid answers after a long time and his face darkens again. “Joanne told you how we knew about the virus right?” When Luke nods he continues. “Well, I knew it was complete crap, there´s no way you can come up with a drug that can regenerate brain tissue, if it´s gone it´s gone and there´s nothing you can do about it. Anyway, we went to the hospital, expecting them to need our help, instead we got trapped there with some of the infected for several days while the hospital was on lockdown. I saw several of my colleagues getting bitten and dying only to wake up as monsters again.”

The thought of having to watch people you knew and cared for dying and then turning into zombies must have been terrible and Luke completely loses his appetite. He gives his plate to Reid who happily accepts it. “I´m so sorry.”

Reid shrugs. “It is what it is,” he says between bites. “We almost thought we wouldn´t make it when luckily we managed to recover a gun from one of the dead security guards. After that it was either get killed or kill, I chose the latter.” 

“I´m not sure I could kill someone, even if my own life depended on it,” Luke says thoughtfully. “Though that doesn´t mean I don´t think you did the right thing,” he quickly continues, because even if he can´t kill anyone, he´s grateful that Reid can. Reid and Joanne saved his life and he´ll never forget that.

“I´m not saying using it the first time was easy,” and the fact that Reid´s even admitting it gives Luke an idea of how hard it must have been, “or that you ever get used to it.” He shrugs. “I guess it´s all about survival instinct.”

Luke tries hard to think of anything to say when Reid suddenly snorts. “But considering what a terrible shot you are it´s unlikely you´d be able to kill someone even if you tried.”

***

The following days pass by pretty well.

They stay away from the larger towns, unless they need more supplies, and Reid continues to forcefully train Luke to shoot. At the end of the week he can hit five cans out of ten which Reid declares a goddamn miracle. His mouth twitches when he says it though, so Luke takes it for the compliment it is and not as the insult he would have thought it was just a week ago.

The more time they spend together, the more Luke is beginning to understand what a complex person Reid is. He seriously lacks every social skill there is and he´s brutally honest, which makes him seem ruder than he actually is. He doesn´t like talking about his family and when Luke insists, he only tells him that his parents died a long time ago and that he has no other relatives he´s interested to keep in touch with.

He briefly mentions sharing an apartment with Joanne and that confirms Luke’s speculation of her and Reid as a couple. The knowledge gives him a funny feeling in his stomach but he chalks it up to the fact that he´s responsible for her death and that the feeling wasn’t because of his growing attraction towards Reid. He doesn´t try to pretend it´s not there, he just blames it on the fact that he´s gay and Reid´s a good looking guy. He isn´t in love with him or anything so the confirmation that Reid´s straight doesn´t mean anything.

What does mean something is that Joanne was right. Reid is a good man.

As the days go by, Luke learns a lot about Reid. Like the fact that he doesn´t need much sleep and seems to be just fine with getting only four or five hours every night, while Luke needs at least seven so he doesn’t feel like a zombie for the rest of the day. Okay, bad comparison.

Also, Reid is a really light sleeper, it doesn´t take Luke more than saying his name for Reid to open his eyes and he’s already awake and alert. Reid needs to shake and swear at Luke for at least ten minutes until he´s sitting up, eyes barely open. It´s really unfair an unfair skill to have and when Luke asks him about it Reid just shrugs, points at himself and says, “Doctor, remember?”, like that explains everything, which Luke guesses it does. Still, it is unfair.

He also learns that Reid wasn´t joking when he said one of his interests was brain surgery. At the time Luke had thought it simply meant that he was invested in his job but the more they talk, the more he comes to realize that Reid practically lived for his work, pre-zombie outbreak. Sometimes Reid goes on long rants about different operating procedures concerning tumors and Luke usually lets him talk even though he doesn´t understand a word of it since he enjoys the fact that Reid´s actually talks to him. Besides, he listens because Reid has a really nice voice and he really likes falling asleep listening to it. Though, he can´t help but wonder when Reid and Joanne actually had time to see each other if Reid spent all his waking hours working.

“How did you and Joanne meet?” He asks when he´s face down on an uncomfortable sofa and if he wasn´t so tired he would have thought before mentioning Joanne. As it is, the words are out before he can help it and his head snaps up to meet Reid´s gaze. “I´m sorry, I shouldn´t have...” he trails off.

Reid looks a little bit tense but not angry. “Why do you ask?”

“I don´t know, it´s just, you know almost everything about me and I hardly know anything about you.”

“You know the important parts.”

Luke scoffs. “Clearly you and I have a whole different idea of what´s important.”

Reid sighs, closes his eyes and leans his head back against the wall. “I met Joanne at medical school, she was two years ahead of me and we became friends. When I graduated she recommended me to her Chief Of Staff and we´ve been working together ever since.”

“Wow, that wasn´t so hard was it?” Luke jokes. Reid snorts but doesn´t reply.

“Must have been pretty intense though,” Luke continues, “working together, living together?”

“It was fine. Now sleep, I´ll be waking you up in less than five hours.”

Luke grumbles but closes his eyes and falls asleep.

 

Days later when they’ve turned into a week, Luke realizes that he´s been starting to think of his family and friends as dead. It´s not like he wants to believe that they´re all gone or that he´s lost all hope, but since they left Seattle they´ve hardly come across any survivors at all and deep down Luke knows that it´s pretty unrealistic to believe that all the citizens of Oakdale somehow made it through all this un-scathed.

He wants to believe, but the more empty towns they pass, the more he starts to accept the fact that they´re gone. He thinks of his grandmothers. Emma, who´s been a constant all through his life and whose food Reid would have loved and Lucinda, who would have always favored him and stood at his side. He thinks of his mother and the man who raised him and loved him just as his own all his life and prays that they were together until the end. He´s never had an easy relationship with Damian but the last few years has been good and he comes to the conclusion that no matter what Damian´s done, he´s still his father and Luke knows he loves him.

He can´t bear the thought of the fate of his siblings though, Faith and Nathalie and Ethan, because when he does he only thinks about how scared the must have been and the thought of them as zombies is too much. So, he thinks about Casey instead and wonders if his best friend had enjoyed the idea of a zombie apocalypse. Casey had always loved horror movies and he would probably found it a bit entertaining in the beginning. He guesses Casey must have fought to the end and in a way it makes him ridiculously proud.

The hardest thing to bear is not that his family is gone, it´s the thought of his loved ones being infected, so when he and Reid walk into a house where the owners had killed themselves and Reid tells him it´s not the first ones he´s come across, Luke feels so relieved that he could cry. He hasn´t given up on his family and he still wants to go back to Oakdale to see for himself but he has started to accept the thought that they may no longer be there and he hopes that if they´re not, they had the possibility to choose their own fate.

Mostly he tries to not think of them at all and instead, he focuses on Reid and their journey to Chicago.

***

They stop in Sioux Falls to get supplies and to hopefully find a car. Luke may have gotten his strength back but he´s still so tired of walking all the time that the idea of sitting in a car for endless hours seems like something close to heaven. They haven´t come across a zombie in weeks and while they´re still careful, Luke knows that both he and Reid have been taking unnecessary risks. Usually before walking into a store they would have been taking precautions.

As it is now they just stomp right in there and try to find something and anything that could have been left behind by others without searching through the place first. It´s a mistake, Luke knows that, but he doesn´t know just how big of a mistake it is until he looks up and can see something moving out of the corner of his eye that isn´t Reid.

“Reid!” he shouts in warning.

There´s a man behind Reid, his hands almost on Reid´s shoulders and Luke knows what´s going to happen. But there´s no way Reid will be able to turn around and shoot the zombie before it gets to him. The same thing that happened to Joanne will happen to Reid and Luke can´t stand the thought of losing him. Without Reid there´s no way he´ll make it, without Reid he’ll be alone. So, without another thought, Luke raises his gun with shaking hands, carefully aims and pulls the trigger.

He´s not sure who´s the most surprised, him or Reid, when he gets a perfect hit and the zombie stumbles and falls down just a few feet from Reid.

He can´t believe he actually did that. He killed someone. He shot a man right in the head and while he´s prepared for the regret and sorrow for having to do it, he´s not prepared to feel so grateful that he’s managed to save Reid. His knees go weak and his hands tremble so much that he drops the gun on the ground. Reid´s there in an instant, holding him up with an arm around his waist and looking at him with a worried expression.

“Are you alright?” he asks softly. Luke knows they´re both thinking about the conversation they had when Reid had said it wasn´t ever easy the first time you had to use a gun.

“Look, I know how it feels,” he says, comfortingly. “But you have to remember that you did the right thing, it´s either us or them. Think about getting back to your family.”

The thought of Reid Oliver giving a pep talk is so ridiculous that Luke starts to laugh. Reid looks at him like he´s crazy which only makes Luke laugh harder. He laughs so much that tears starts to fall and it´s not until then that he realizes that he´s crying. It´s weeks of pent up emotions that he can no longer hold back and even though a part of him is ashamed that he’s breaking down in front of Reid, there´s no way he can hold it back. Reid looks incredibly uncomfortable but to Luke´s surprise he doesn´t move away, he just stands there awkwardly, with his arm around Luke and holding him.

When the tears finally subside, he´s surprised he isn´t completely worn out but the adrenaline is still rushing through his body, mixed with the slight embarrassment he´s feeling. It’s having him more on edge than ever. 

“I´m sorry, I shouldn´t have broken down like that.” He rubs his wet cheeks awkwardly.

“It´s fine, Luke. Just, eh, please never do that again. I´m not good with tears.”

Luke huffs out a laugh and looks up to meet his gaze to tell him he´s not as bad with them as he thinks he is, when he realizes that Reid had said his name for the first time. He´d grown so used to being called Mr. Snyder, or simply Snyder when Reid was in a particularly foul mood, that he hadn´t ever thought he would hear him say his first name.

Hearing Reid say his name intensifies the attraction he´s pushed away for weeks and he feels arousal growing in his stomach. Reid is standing so close that Luke can feel the smell of his skin over the blood and gunpowder. He wets his lips nervously and when he sees Reid´s gaze flickering down to his mouth he can´t hold back and presses his lips against Reid´s.

Reid makes a surprised noise and pulls back almost immediately and Luke opens his mouth to apologize, because how could he be so stupid? Reid´s maybe-girlfriend died just a few weeks ago and there´s no way Reid will let him tag along now. Then Reid´s lips are back on his and his hand is in his hair and Luke forgets whatever it was that he was thinking about.

Reid´s mouth is warm and wet and Luke licks into it with urgency he isn´t sure he´s ever felt before. He presses his growing erection against Reid´s thigh and can´t hold back a moan when he feels Reid´s answering hardness pressing back.

“But you´re not even gay,” he breathes while he´s doing his best to unzip Reid´s pants.

He can feel Reid huff a laugh against his neck. “Well, I´m willing to pretend otherwise if you are.”

“What?”

“You seriously need to have your gaydar fixed,” Reid says and unceremoniously shoves his hand down Luke´s boxers. “Now, please shut up.” 

Luke gasps when he feels Reid´s hand on his dick and he decides that he doesn´t care whether or not Reid´s gay as long as he doesn´t stop doing that. Luke can´t even remember the last time he jerked off and it´s been way longer than that since he had someone else’s hand on his dick. And Reid clearly knows what he´s doing; he combines fast, hard strokes with slower ones and pauses to rub his thumb along the head and if Luke wasn´t so out of it he would be ashamed of the sounds he’s making. But he doesn´t care about anything besides Reid and Reid´s hand and Reid´s mouth, which is doing criminal things to his neck and shoulder. Luke doesn´t think he´s ever had a hickey before, but the way Reid sucks and bites on his skin makes him think he´s going to have plenty and he couldn´t care less.

What he does care about though is that Reid´s pants are still firmly in place and the fastening to his slacks are more complicated than Fort Knox. He doesn´t have the coordination or brain capacity to deal with this.

“Reid,” he groans. “I wanna touch you.” He makes another struggling attempt to unfasten Reid´s ridiculous pants. “Dammit Reid, take them off!”

Reid snorts but removes the hand firmly clasped around Luke´s neck and quickly unzips his own pants, and Luke would have been impressed by how quick he does it if he wasn´t already distracted by the feel of another dick against his own and then Reid has them both in his hand, and it feels incredible. Reid´s kissing him again, all tongue and teeth and Luke comes hard all over Reid´s hand and dick and his own stomach. He takes a few moments to get down from his high before realizing that Reid´s still hard and so he reaches down between them and replacing Reid´s hand with his own.

“Let me,” he says, not only because reciprocation is the polite thing to do after someone gives you an awesome orgasm, but also because he really wants to touch Reid. It doesn´t take more than a few strokes and Luke would have been disappointed over how fast it was over if it wasn´t for the criminally hot sounds Reid makes as he comes.

They stand together for a while, until the stickiness starts to feel disgusting and Reid takes a step back, searching for something to clean them up with. Coming up with nothing he removes his own t-shirt and wipes his hands before tossing it to Luke, who does the same before straightening his clothes.

“So,” Luke says and scratches his neck, trying to look anywhere but directly at Reid´s naked chest, which is ridiculous considering he’d just had his hand on Reid´s dick. “That happened.”

Reid hums agreeably and pulls out another shirt from his bag and Luke isn´t sure if he´s relieved or disappointed when he puts it on.

“And you´re really gay?” He chances a quick glance at Reid to see him rolling his eyes, which probably is answer enough, but still. “I mean, you and Joanne weren’t together?”

Reid falters in his movements and when he answers his voice is flat. “Since Joanne is, was a woman and we just established that I´m gay, I think you know the answer to that already.”

Luke nods and Reid seems to think that´s the end of the conversation but Luke never really knew when to stop. “Then, what does this mean?” he asks, awkwardly gesturing between the two of them.

“What is this, twenty questions?” Reid sighs. “What do you think it means?”

“I don´t know, I usually don´t do these type of things.” While Luke has had a few boyfriends, he´s never had a one night stand since he didn´t ever see the point in having sex with someone he didn´t love or at least care a great deal about.

“You´re not going to freak out over a mutual hand job are you?” Reid asks, amusement clear in his voice. “Because if you are, let me remind you that we´re in the middle of a zombie apocalypse and there´s a dead guy on the floor.”

“I- No-“ He clears his voice. “I´m not freaking out.”

Reid seems to notice the hesitation in his voice because he sighs and gives Luke one of his you´re-clearly-an-idiot-stare. “Look, it´s perfectly normal to get aroused after being in a life or death situation. In fact, there´s been numerous studies done that shows that the adrenaline level is closely connected to-“

“Hang on,” Luke cuts him off. “What? You think--,” Luke takes a deep breath. “You think I kissed you because I got hard from killing a zombie?” It sounds even more ridiculous out loud then it did in his head.

Reid opens his mouth but snaps it shut again. “Well, not when you put it like that.” He runs a hand through his hair and takes a few steps closer to Luke. ”So, why did you kiss me?”

Luke´s pulse starts to pick up again when he feels the warmth from Reid´s body. “I don´t know--because I wanted to?”

Reid cups his cheek with his left hand and leans in to kiss him again. This time it’s soft and slow, without the urgency from before, but it’s just as amazing. Just when Luke thinks that if they continue this, he might be up for another round, Reid pulls back and rests their foreheads together. “I wanted to kiss you, too. Don´t make it so complicated.”

When Luke nods, he pulls back, gives Luke´s cheek a little slap and picks up his bag. “Now, let´s go and find somewhere to sleep.”

***

In a way, nothing changes between them after that, and at the same time everything changes. They continue walking or occasionally driving, when they could find a car, towards Chicago and they still argue most of the time, but now Luke notices all the things he didn´t see before.

Like how Reid´s mouth twitches whenever Luke says something he deems exceptionally stupid or the way his gaze lingers on Luke´s mouth when he laughs or takes a sip of water. Sometimes, Luke catches Reid staring at him with an expression Luke can´t really decipher. For some reason, it reminds him of how Reid used to look at Joanne, but at the same time not and he doesn´t really know what it means or how to feel about it. When Reid catches him noticing, he always looks away, and it’s clear that whatever it is that he feels, he clearly doesn´t want Luke to see it.

That first hand job isn´t the last. If Luke had thought that giving in to his attraction to Reid once would help him get over it, he´d never been more wrong. Instead, it intensifies to the point that he has trouble of thinking of anything else other than the taste of Reid´s mouth and the feel of his cock against his own. They don´t talk about it the next day, but when they´ve found a place to stay for the night, all Luke needs to do is look at Reid to know he wants it just as much as Luke does.

It´s always too quick and too rushed and over way too soon. Since they never feel completely safe, there is no time to lie down and discover what parts of Reid are the most sensitive, but Luke makes do with what he can. Reid is really quiet during sex, not like Luke who can´t seem to stop moaning or gasping even if he tries hard not to make a sound. But instead, Luke enjoys the way Reid´s breathing hitches when Luke rubs his nipples or sucks on the skin just behind his ear.

Since the closest they´ve come to take a shower is that one time they took a quick swim in a lake, which Reid only deemed acceptable because he felt that the amount of sweat and dirt on his skin was worse than the filth in the water, cleaning mostly means pouring a bottle of water over themselves or filling up a sink with rain water and trying to get as much dirt scrubbed off their skin as possible. They never really feel clean so there aren´t many blowjobs. But the few times Reid does go down on him, Luke wonders if anything could be better than that. And then Reid slides his fingers along the crack of his ass and Luke wishes they had the time to find out.

It´s so good and so easy and Luke thinks this is what sex with someone you love should be like.

Something that also changes is the way that they touch, how their personal space becomes one and the same. While Luke´s always been a tactile guy and sharing hugs and kisses with those that he cares about, Reid hasn´t exactly seemed like the most physical guy so far. When Luke thinks about it, he realizes that it was always Joanne who instigated the few hugs they shared and they always made Reid look weirdly uncomfortable. But after they started whatever it is that they´re doing, Luke just how much Reid touches him. When they share a water bottle, Reid´s fingers always linger on his and they always walk close enough that their hands keep brushing together. It´s nice and comforting and makes Luke want him in a way that has nothing to do with sex, but everything to do with Reid.

The closer they get to Chicago, the more dead bodies they come across. Most of them are infected but there are also a few men and woman with both bite marks and bullet wounds. Luke can´t help but think of Joanne and from the way Reid stiffens beside him he’s thinking the same, this time though, when Luke puts a hand on his shoulder for comfort, it´s welcome.

They try to stay away from cities as much as they can, but when both their food and water is almost out, there´s not much of a choice. Considering the increasing amount of bodies they´ve seen it is no surprise that they have had to shoot several of the infected while getting supplies. Luke misses with every shot, which makes Reid laugh, but they´re never really in danger. Luke guesses there´s probably something wrong with him if seeing Reid shoot a zombie in the head makes him hard as rock. He doesn´t care much about it though, and later that night when he has Reid´s mouth on his dick, he tells him just how hot he thinks he is.

Reid always takes the first watch and Luke has taken to always falling asleep with his head in Reid´s lap. Not only does it make him feel safe but he likes the way Reid runs his fingers through his hair, it makes falling asleep much easier, and when Reid wakes him up for his turn, he returns the favor.

Sometimes they talk before going to sleep. Reid promises to follow him to Oakdale if Luke can wait until there´s a proper vaccine that works and Luke feels relieved knowing that he won’t have to go back there by himself, not only because the roads are unsafe but also because he knows he could handle or face anything if someone was with him, by his side. It feels good to make plans again and whatever the world has come become, Luke is happy to be alive and he´s happy that he’s found Reid.

The more time they spend together, Luke comes to realize that he was right about not being able to have sex with someone he doesn´t love.

He´s just not sure when he started to love Reid, or what he´s supposed to do about it.

***

When they finally reach Chicago it´s not as Luke had imagined. There are high fences with barbed wire lining the top, and they have to walk for what feels like hours until they reach the gates that will take them into the actual city. They´re greeted by heavily armed military and Luke feels slightly uncertain while walking towards the men with guns pointed at him with his arms in the air. He lets Reid do all the talking and it doesn´t take long until they´re escorted inside where they are sent in for a full check up by a doctor on site. Reid complains, but lets the doctors search for bite marks that aren´t there. Luke feels extremely uncomfortable but figures Chicago wouldn´t be safe if they didn´t check every inch of the people they let inside. They get their various shots, Luke doesn´t listen too closely since the first shot is supposed to be a vaccine, and after that he´s so relieved that he doesn´t really care what the rest of them are.

They both pass the medical exam and after taking their weapons they get a tour of the base. He´s surprised to see that they´ve got a working community with electricity and running water going. What surprises him the most though, is the amount of people milling around. He´s been to Chicago a number of times and while there´s not nearly as many people now as there´s been before the virus outbreak, it´s still more people then Luke´s seen in months. They make him feel strangely uncomfortable and he finds himself searching for any indication that someone´s infected even though he knows that the risks are minimum. He suddenly wishes that he and Reid were back on the road again, away from all these other people.

Since most of the people seem to feel safer staying close together, most of the hotels have been remade into temporary homes with armed guards standing outside. Reid and Luke share a room and get cards that give them access to free meals at the hotel restaurant, which sound more glamorous than it actually is. Dinner the first night is a small portion of rice and vegetables and while it´s better than baked beans from a can, it´s nothing special. The best thing about it, is Reid´s disappointed face which makes Luke laugh hysterically for a good five minutes. There is coffee though, and that makes everything better, for the both of them.

It feels weird getting into bed together. On the road, one of them had to stay up and keep watch most nights, unless they found a place to sleep in which was as safe as the video store that first night in Seattle, so they haven´t really spent much time lying down together. Luke falls asleep with his head on Reid´s chest and Reid´s arms around him and he figures he can get used to this.

As the days go they fall into a new routine. Reid begins his duties as a neurosurgeon and is immediately put to work. While there is already a vaccine, they haven´t done enough tests to confirm it’s viable and so Reid throws himself into it spending most of the day in the lab. Luke misses him and quickly gets bored of having nothing to do, so he finds Major Stevens, who´s in charge, and asks for something to do. He gets assigned to the daycare which also doubles up as a school for those children who are of school age. Many of the children have lost one or both parents and are taken care of by those who have lost children of their own. Luke quickly learns that it´s not so much a school, but a place where the younger children are taken care of and so that the older ones can process what they´ve been through and what they’ve seen, both with each other and with the adults working there.

There´s a girl who reminds him so much of Natalie that, in an odd way, it hurts to spend time with her.

While it´s hard to have the kids confide in him and tell him what they´ve seen and what they’ve been through, it´s also helpful. It feels good to spend time with them and feel useful again. And it gives him something else to do rather than sit alone in their room and think about his family and Reid´s absence.

He´s starts to spend much more time at the daycare and often stays to talk with his colleagues; he especially likes one of them, Laura, who´s the same age as Luke and lost her husband and both her parents. It wasn´t until she got to Chicago that she found out she was pregnant and Luke figures it makes things a little easier to know she has something left of her husband, that she hasn’t lost him forever, not really.

“You´re really good with kids,” Laura says and smiles at him.

Luke shrugs and takes a sip of his coffee. “I should be, I spent most of my life helping my parents take care of my three younger siblings.” The mention of his family brings back that familiar ache and he decides that he´s waited long enough. He needs to go back to Oakdale and see if there´s anything left for him there.

“Is your family safe?”

“I think it´s time for me to find out,” he answers and puts his coffee mug down. “I have to go back and know for sure.”

He can´t believe he´s put it off for this long and he has the sudden urge to pack the few things he owns and to go immediately.

Laura nods and seems to understand what he isn´t saying. “Be careful.”

“I´ll try.”

He´s almost at the door when she speaks again. “Is Doctor Oliver going with you?”

Luke steps falter, and he lets himself think of Reid. They have barely spent any time together since arriving in Chicago. Reid spends every waking hour in the lab or at the hospital and it isn´t that Luke is holding any grudge against him over that. He had kind of suspected that Reid lived for his job and there´s nothing wrong with that. It´s just that Luke had hoped that there was a place for him in Reid´s life too.

He knows that Reid cares about him, probably even considers him a friend, and knowing Reid that´s a big thing; but Luke wants more than that. He´s known he´s in love with Reid for weeks now and when they were on the road it seemed like Reid felt the same way, but coming here changed that and even though they´re sleeping in the same bed most nights, sleeping is all they do. They´ve barely even kissed in the last two weeks, let alone jerked each other off. And while he wants Reid to feel the same way, he knows far too well that you can´t force someone to love you, and he isn´t even going to try.

“No,” he finally answers. “No, I don´t think so.”

***

Finally taking the decision to go back to Oakdale feels good and when he talks to Major Stevens, he´s surprised but grateful that he’s been offered a gun, ammo for it and a car. He promises that if there´s nothing left for him in Oakdale, he´ll be back. He plans on leaving the next day and spends the evening alone in his and Reid´s room staring at a map, deciding which road to take and which towns to avoid.

It´s only half past seven when Reid comes barging through the door, and that´s the earliest he´s left the lab since they got here. Usually he doesn´t come back until Luke´s asleep and leaves before he wakes up. Reid´s still wearing his lab coat and Luke figures he left in a rush. The distraught look on his face makes fear coil in Luke´s stomach and he stands up.

“What´s wrong?” 

“’What´s wrong?’ he asks,” Reid mutters angrily and glares at him. “You´re leaving?”

“Oh,” Luke says and sits down again. “Yeah, about that. I guess you talked to Major Stevens?”

“It never crossed your mind to talk to me about it?”

“Well, I was going to write you a note.”

“A note?” Reid asks incredulously and shakes his head. “Jesus Christ, Luke.”

“Well, it´s not like you would notice if I was gone anyway, I´ve hardly seen you since we got here.”

Luke tries but probably fails to hold back the disappointment in his voice.

Reid scowls. “I´ve been working, Luke. You of all people should know how important it is to be sure that the vaccine actually works.”

“I know that! And I know what you´re doing is important, it´s just that I thought-“ he closes his eyes and shakes his head. “It doesn´t matter what I thought, the whole point of this trip was for you to come here and for me to go home.”

“So, you´re just going to go back to Oakdale without anyone there to back you up in the hopes of finding your whole family safe and sound? Clearly you´re an even bigger idiot than I thought.”

“I´m not stupid Reid, I know what I´m most likely to find if, when, I go back.”

Reid seems to be on the verge to object and Luke raises a hand to stop him. “Look, I don´t want to fight with you. I know you care about me,” and god does he want Reid to care, “and I appreciate it I really do, but I have to do this.” He takes a deep breath and finally looks up to meet Reid´s gaze. “And you´re right, I’m still hoping that I´ll find at least one of them alive, but if I don´t, at least then I´ll know.”

“And if they´re infected?” Reid´s voice is firm but Luke knows he´s starting to give in.

“Then I’ll deal with it,” he swallows painfully, “so I can bury them.”

Reid sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “Okay, give me a few days to run a few more tests and then we can go.”

“You´re coming with me?” Luke does nothing to hide the surprise in his voice. He knows Reid cares about him but Reid had seemed so content to be back in civilization and being able to work again, even if it´s in a lab and not an operating room.

“I said I would.”

Luke walks over and hesitantly puts his hand on Reid´s arm. “I don´t want you to come with me just because you feel obligated to, it would only make us both miserable. And I know you like it here, being back in a hospital again, even if it isn´t the same.”

“I´m not going to deny that it feels good to be useful again, and I might have gotten a bit caught up in work since we got here, but-” He puts his hands on Luke´s hips and pulls him closer. “Christ Luke, you have to know how I feel about you.”

Luke has a hard time holding back his ridiculous, happy smile and leans in to capture Reid´s lips with his own.

He hadn´t known how much he had missed Reid´s mouth and hands on him until he has them back on him and when the kiss quickly turns heated. He pushes the lab coat of off Reid´s shoulders and pulls off his own t-shirt before going back in to suck at the sensitive spot right behind Reid´s ear.

“Besides,” Reid says while unzipping Luke´s pants. “One lucky hit, ah, doesn´t exactly make you a good shot, you´ll, oh god, need someone with my expertise.”

“Oh, I need your expertise alright,” Luke mutters against Reid´s collarbone. “So hurry up and get your clothes off.”

***

The streets of Oakdale are just as empty and silent as the other towns have been. The only difference is that this is Luke´s hometown. He knows every shop and store, knows most names of the people who used to live in the houses that they pass. He went to the school that´s now deserted and he has spent weeks in the hospital with its now shattered windows and what Luke imagines, abandoned beds. It´s not that he hadn´t realized the disaster the virus had wreaked but he had thought that the weeks on the road would prepare him for what he would inevitable find when he got here. But knowing something and the expectation you hold is not the same as actually seeing it, especially the disaster of a town that he has always thought of as home.

They pull up outside the farm and the sound of the car doors shutting echo in the silence. Luke thinks of his parents, his siblings and everyone he loves, he pictures them standing on the deserted porch, welcoming him home.

“Are you ready?” Reid asks.

Luke takes a deep breath and thinks of everything he´s lost, his job, his money, the foundation and most likely every single one of his family and friends. His whole life. And then he looks at Reid and thinks of what he´s got left. He reaches for Reid´s hand and laces their fingers together.

“I´m ready.”

 

_Fin._


End file.
